Love After Loss - Widow With Children

Love After Loss - Widow With Children

A young widower with two children said something to me recently which I will never forget. He said that as a single parent who is a widow, there is no time off for dating. If you are divorced, you will have times when your ex-spouse has the children. When you are widowed, you have no such "break" for adult time.

If you are a young widow or widower with children, how do you get your "grown up" time? It is important for you to take your time to grieve your loss. At the same time, you are often worried that you are not doing right by your children and you wonder if you are doing enough to help them through their own grief journey after having lost one of their parents.

The young widower explained it this way: in order to take care of your children and not give into the temptation to use them as confidants, it is important to take the time to be with other adults. When you are ready to date, you can show your children that although you loved your late spouse and still do, you also understand that you have a need for companionship.

Are you in this position?

• Do you feel guilty because you are lonely after your spouse died?
• Do you hesitate to date?
• Do you wonder whether you are going to hurt your children by seeking a new life partner?
• Have people told you to forget about love and focus on raising your children?

If you were in a happy marriage, you know that the relationship between you and your spouse was the foundation of your family. If you neglected each other, the children suffered. If you concentrated on keeping your relationship strong, the children had the benefit of witnessing a healthy relationship between the two most influential adults in their lives. Often when one spouse puts the children first, instead of the marriage, the relationship between the couple suffers.

While it is critical that you make sure your children have support for the loss of their parent, it is also important that they see their surviving parent progressing through the grief journey. If you do not want to date, that is perfectly fine. If you do want to find love again after loss, you have a right to do so. Well-meaning people may give you unsolicited advice, but you get to decide what to do about finding love again, not them.

Take care of yourself as you prepare to find love after loss. For more tips and tools about finding love after losing your spouse, go to [http://fromlosstoloveagain.com]. Become a member and post your comments to share with others about this topic today.

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